Chapter 21 of The Half Life of Dragons

by Sonja Hakala

Previously in The Half Life of Dragons: Gideon Brown was shocked when he turned onto Carding’s main street, Meetinghouse Road, this morning. Instead of a ragtag mob of sleep-deprived and in-need-of-a-wash Calliope culties, the sidewalks were empty. And his favorite morning stop, the Crow Town Bakery, is packed with locals sipping coffee while sharing the latest developments in the Calliope story.
Waitress Hillary Talbot has just filled a fresh pot with Crow Town’s finest brew. Won’t you come in to share the excitement?

We’re rounding the corner to the last chapters of The Half Life of Dragons. If you need a catch-up, just click this link and it will bring you to the right place.

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“Okay, what’s happened? What did I miss?” Gideon Brown asked as soon as he walked through the door of the Crow Town Bakery. “I figured I was going to have to fight my way through mounds of Calliope culties in order to get here. But the streets are back to normal. It’s great, I love it. But what gives?”

Folks holding cups of coffee like life rafts cheered Gideon’s sentiments amid a host of “hear, hears” and “it’s about time.”

Gideon laughed. “Okay, we all love it. But will someone please tell me what’s happened?”

“Well, it seems that the center of Calliope nonsense and action has moved to the fair city of Burlington after word got out yesterday that Timmen Eldritch has been declared a non-person by the probate court over in White River Junction,” Stephen Bennett explained to cheers from the assembled breakfast eaters. He gestured with his spatula. “And,” he paused to let the hubbub die down, “and the contents of three storage areas owned by said Eldritch are being auctioned off today somewhere on the shores of Lake Champlain.”

More cheers.

“We had a major run on coffee as soon as we unlocked the door this morning,” Stephen continued. 

“It was more like a stampede,” everyone’s favorite waitress, Hillary Talbot, said as she filled a mug for Gideon.

“And they bought every muffin Diana had baked,” Stephen said. “After they wiped us out, they piled into their various vehicles and headed west.” He swung his eyes to a hoodie-hidden face attached to a woman sitting near the end of the bakery’s counter.

Gideon examined the woman as he inhaled his first caffeine of the day. Then he stepped up closer. “And who are you when you’re at home?” he asked.

Two burning eyes glared at him then turned on Stephen. “You can put the rest of this glop in a container to go,” she growled, pointing at her plate.

Gideon glanced over at Stephen for identification which Stephen was glad to provide. “Meet Pearl McGregor. She was one of the many hangers-on when Calliope lived in Carding. We’ve been given to understand that she originally hailed from somewhere in central New Hampshire. It was just a few days ago that she was holding court out in front of the library, claiming she had married Timmen Eldritch, and that she had proof he was dead.”

“I see,” Gideon said, not taking his eyes off Pearl. “So, next question—did I hear you right, Stephen? Eldritch was declared a non-person? What does that mean?”

“Well, it seems our own Agnes Findley,” Stephen grinned at Aggie where she sat in a booth with her partner Charlie Cooper, and friends Edie Wolfe and Ruth Goodwin, “along with Carding’s favorite retired history teacher, David Tarkiainen, found a treasure trove of Calliope stuff in the trunk of a certain Karmann Ghia, and that sparked a trip to the courthouse.”

“Well, there’s also the fact that I got a very important phone call,” Aggie said. “After the phone call, I received an email with photos and paperwork attached. It seems that the man everyone called Timmen Eldritch never legally existed. It was a stage name. The real person who sang and performed with Calliope is very much alive.” She turned to stare at Pearl. “And he’s never been married to Pearl McGregor or anyone else.”

Stephen scooped Pearl’s plate from the counter, and slid her scrambled eggs and toast into a takeaway carton. When she stuck out her hand, Stephen handed her the bill for her food. “I want my food,” she said. 

“And I want my money,” Stephen said.

Pearl scowled but eventually dug a wallet out of the pocket of her sweatshirt. “Here,” she said as she slapped a plastic card on the marble counter. “And there will be no tip.”

Stephen nodded as he slid her card into the bakery’s reader. Silence reigned. “Well, would you look at that. It’s expired. Do you have another card? Or cash? I won’t take a check.”

“Wait. That can’t be right,” Pearl said. “You did that wrong.”

Stephen turned the card over to read the backside. “Nope, the machine got it right. This expired back in October.”

Pearl glanced toward the exit but it was at the opposite end of the bakery from where she sat. At a nod from his father, Wil Bennett stood up to block her way just in case. After a few more venomous looks, she turned toward Stephen and shook her head. “I got nothin’,” she said.

“Stephen, give me that bill, would you?” Gideon said. He took a look at the total, nodded once, and then took out his wallet.

“Oh thank you,” Pearl purred. “A gentleman.”

Gideon shook his head. “Nope, no gentleman. Just someone who’s sick of the Calliope vermin and wants you gone.” He laid three twenty-dollar bills on the counter. “You look like someone who needs to gas up her car and ride out of town. You can have all of this as long as you pack up and leave Carding today.”

Pearl hesitated. “But I’ve paid for a full month on my apartment, and I’ve still got two weeks to go.”

Gideon put two more twenties on top of the others then laid his hand on the bills. “And where might that apartment be?” he asked.

“It’s up over the dentist’s office behind the library,” Ruth Goodwin volunteered. “I saw her moving in.”

“What apartment over what dentist’s office?” Paula Owen asked. A ribbon of cold air accompanied the entrance of Carding’s town manager into the Crow Town Bakery.

“It seems my ex-husband found some space in the attic above his office, and decided to put it to good use,” Ruth said, a grin stretching across her face.

Paula nodded. “I see And he did that without getting a building permit.”

“I’m sure you if you ask nice, he’ll be glad to let you in to see what he has done,” Ruth said. People laughed. Ruth’s ex-husband, known locally as the “Good Dentist,” was notorious for ignoring local ordinances.

Gideon looked back at Paula. “Well, how about it? I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say that we’re all very tired of you Calliope people. Very tired. This money is yours as long as you pack up, and leave today.”

Pearl snatched at the bills. “Sure. Yeah. Fine. Whatever.”

As soon as Pearl swanned out the door, Paula turned around to beam at everyone. “Ted just called me from the house. They’re on their way. All of them They should be here any minute.”

Everyone in the Crow stood up. Signs and banners appeared. Folks stood on chairs to hang them on the walls and from the overhead lights. Stephen’s wife, Diana, came through from the kitchen carrying a tray of morning glory muffins fresh from her ovens. “They’re Suzanna’s favorite,” she said as she slid the tray into the pastry case. 

“Ooh, here they come. Here they come,” Ruth yelled from the window. “Oh my, I can’t believe it. They brought Robert with them.”

Gideon set down his empty mug, and whirled around. “They’re gonna need a hand with his wheelchair,” he said as he headed toward the door. “And we’re gonna need space at a table close to the door.”

Chairs were pushed back, and tables quickly rearranged. Edie and her granddaughter Faye tended to the coffee machine, filling carafes, and making more fresh brewed. Table tops were washed, and trash trashed.

“Wow, where are you folks when I need you at closing time?” Diana asked.

Over at a big table in the bakery’s far corner, David Tarkiainen’s youngest grandson watched in big-eyed fascination. “Why’s everyone so excited, Pop-Pop?” he asked.

“Well, they’re excited about a lot of things, actually. Suzanna Owen turned eighteen a couple of days ago so we’re doing a happy birthday party for her. Her grandfather, Robert, has not been well, and today’s the first time he’s been out of their house in quite a while, and everyone likes Robert. And Suzanna and her best friend Faye Bennett,” he pointed toward the young woman at the coffee machine, “both won medals at a skiing event in Maine. Suzanna won a silver for her slalom events, and Faye tied for first in freestyle snowboarding.”

“Wow, cool. I wanna snowboard, too, Pop-Pop.”

By this time, an impromptu welcome committee had formed on the sidewalk outside the bakery. Hands reached out to lift a beaming Robert Owen from his son’s van, and into his wheelchair while Suzanna flitted around like an over-caffeinated hummingbird, adjusting the hat on her grandfather’s head, and laying a warm blanket over his lap.

It was a grand morning, full of friendship and celebration.

In a close-knit community like Carding, news and gossip travel at great speed. By that afternoon, everyone knew the following:

1. Nearly twenty years ago, Anna Owen had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers disease a few days before she skied into the night on the slopes of Mount Merino, dying when she hit a tree that was far off the trail. That event set off a train of other, related events with reverberations still felt today.
2. No one but the doctor Anna consulted knew about the diagnosis. She had not revealed her doctor visits to her family, and the family information she’d given the doctor turned out to be false. In all that time, her medical paperwork lay hidden on a hard-to-reach shelf in a seldom-used closet until it was found during a major clean-out when the Owen house was rearranged.
3. Anna and Robert’s daughter, Allison, had not been responsible for her mother’s death in any way. But for twenty years, she believed she was, a burden she carried for far too long. She hopes that knowing this truth is going to take her a long way toward a full healing with her daughter Suzanna.
4. In addition to winning silver in her slalom event, Suzanna Owen has finally learned the true identity of her biological father. It turns out it was Oliver Quigley, the drummer for the infamous rock band Calliope.
5. Several friends of the Owens family as well as the local police department vehemently discouraged any and all persistent Calliope culties from gathering near the Owens’ home. Most of them left without too much fuss. But there were two who didn’t. That’s why Jaini Haskell and Lester Miller spent two nights sleeping in side-by-side cells in the Carding jail. It seems that Lester has a fetish for white boots so that relationship may turn out to be more interesting than anyone thought possible.
6. With the help of Nicholas Kelvey, attorneys-at-law Agnes Findley and Charlie Cooper proved in probate court that the name Timmen Eldritch was nothing more than a persona invented for the stage. While the human who once used that name was very much alive—he testified for the judge by video—the name had no legal standing at all. So for all intents and purposes, Timmen Eldritch was declared a non-person. And non-persons cannot die.
7. In order to avoid entanglements with Calliope’s disappointed and disbelieving fans, the man once known as Timmen Eldritch asked the judge not to publish his birth name, and she agreed. When he hikes the Appalachian Trail, he’s known as Ruby Throat so if you’re ever sitting around a campfire…
8. And finally, police have been diligently investigating the fake Calliope art factory discovered by Amos Handy, Matt Bentsen, and Andy Cooper in the farmhouse once owned by the once-known-as Timmen Eldritch. (Sorry about all the onces.) Word is that an arrest is imminent.

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Thanks for sharing some of the minutes of your life with me and Carding, Vermont. I hope you’re enjoying The Half Life of Dragons. We’ll be wrapping it up this month.

It’s going to take a while but I plan to have the entire book ready for sale by the end of the year. In the meantime, if you need to catch up or would like to share this adventure with someone else, you can do so by clicking this link.

~ Sonja Hakala