In 1992, Bruce Springsteen released his album Human Touch and there was a on song on it that still resonates with me called “57 Channels and Nothin’ On.” I think it’s more relevant today than ever only nowadays we have a lot more than 57 channels of slop.

Finding something you want to watch and then figuring out where to find it has become an exasperating and needlessly intricate dance. That conundrum inspired the following story.

---

ON/OFF

ACT I: Scene 1

The living room of a typical American family in 1965. Husband and wife are talking.

Husband, holding a magazine calledTV Guide: Hey Hon,The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is on tonight. Would you like to watch that?

Wife, with hands dripping soapy water into the kitchen sink: Oh that sounds good. I like that David McCallum.

Husband reaches for the on/off switch on the television set: Okay. We’ve got about ten minutes. (He turns the selection knob to channel 7.) I’ll dry.

[Director’s note: Please note—only two buttons were manipulated to get the TV on and the channel selected.]

---

ACT II: Scene 1: Living room of a typical American family in 2026. Husband and wife are talking.

Wife: So what would you like to watch? (She is standing in the living room holding four remote control units.)

Husband, in kitchen loading dishwasher: How about that new series that takes place in Australia?

Wife: Do you remember its name?

Husband: Hmmm, not sure. I just read about it. I think it’s on Netflix.

Wife: Oh, we stopped our subscription to that, remember? Not enough good stuff to watch. Anything else? Apple TV maybe?

Husband: I thought we agreed there wasn’t much on there either so we never subscribed. (He turns the dishwasher on.) Did we finish watching Brokenwood?

Wife: I don’t think so. Where do we watch that?

Husband: Not sure. I think it’s Acorn-TV.

Wife presses button on a remote but nothing happens: Oops, I don’t think that’s the right one.

Husband walks over to her side to see for himself: Nope, nope, that’s the remote for the speakers not the TV.

Wife: So which one turns on the TV?

Husband: You don’t have it.

Wife: But these are all the remotes I could find.

Husband: Oh, then it’s probably stuck between the couch cushions.

(Vigorous search of the couch ensues until wife stands up triumphantly holding a remote.)

Wife: Got it. (Presses button.) Not working.

Husband: You gotta point it at the right spot. (Aims remote then presses the ON button several times. Four-letter words ensue.) There you go. No, not quite. I need to change the input. (Presses two more buttons.) Acorn you said, right?

Wife: I think so. Oh wait, no, what in the heck is that?

Husband: I dunno. Looks like a commercial for some sports thing. (Presses three more buttons.) Okay, I think this is Acorn but I don’t see Brokenwood, do you?

Wife glares at the screen: Nope, I have no idea what that is.

Husband sighs, deep and long: Okay, why don’t we watch one of our DVDs?

Wife looks at the remotes in her hands: Do you know which one of these is for the DVD player?